At last
a 9pm game
full opportunity
to focus
our kickball Chi

optimal chi-ness.
Grills blazed

Division leaders
returning champs
got more points
just 3 more runs

rains rained
drenchings drenched
lightning began
before the storm ended

“Show me your Glory”, the sign said. This was some time ago - the LED beacons beamed their way into my retinas and planted the seed of greatness. “Show me your Glory”, Sports Cap’n said, “lest we become embittered old spinsters”. Perhaps that’s not a direct quote, but it held meaning. The seed was growing. 

A quorom arose to the challenge at 6pm. Nothing beat a rock. Literally. Home field advantage for the 4th game running. The seed was growing.

Feet of fury kicked the ballz regardless of its ultimate destination be it fair, foul, fowl, or fingers. They call ‘em Fingers but I never seen ‘em fing. We unlocked serious potential energy in projectile form. Sweet red rubber projectiles. We ran the hell out of the dirt. We survived billowing sandstorms and sporty opponents. We got more positive enjoyment per square inch than the opponent. In a word… Brownness. We dominated the brownness indicators, with our brownness decisively turned up to 11. Belligerence, a theory long lost to the likes of Drunken Master, was back on tap with an incredibly complex flavor and tasty kick. Everyone won the fun.

MVP goes to all players’ hands. Multiple cooperative catches off one to another to prove we put the WE in TEAM. Multiple 1-2 combo punch kicks. LVP goes to all players’ hands. Multiple cooperative dropped balls. Multiple slowy throwy patheticos. Our defense proved to have what our offense did. That is to say, sports glory. MWP (Most Wounded Player) goes to Rhoda Stallion, though an honorary mention goes out to Rabbit Child. Bactine for everyone! 

The evening began with an intended 6pm pre-game cookout at Sports Cap’n Central. Both grills took alight around 5:45 and were in white-red hotness prime for burning assorted fleshes right at 6pm. MWTFP (Most WTF player) goes at this point to everyone for not coming until 7pm or later despite the need to remobilize for the field by 7:45. While Sports Cap’n takes his share of the blame for not emailing everyone a reminder until 4:20pm the day of the event, he feels his apt grill lighting and web updates tempers his own role in the grill failure. At any rate, this pregame gone wrong was to prove the downfall of all. Team members rushed through their flesh burnings, rushed through the eatings & the sports before sports, culiminating in lots of people late to the game.

Once at the field, the conditions went from slack to suck when it became clear TSGT not only wasn’t ready to play, but also wasn’t sporting a proper balance Y chromosomes: we proved to be a woman short. This caused the appearance of MVPWIOOT (Most Valuable Player Who Isn’t On Our Team), a woman known simply as Meg. She had some mad catcher kicker skillz & did us proud but proved to be not enough to stop up the chinks in TSGT’s once Cohesive Sports Net. Like the proverbial Crocodile Hunter, we found ourselves fighting the wrong fight & getting killed by the proverbial stingray to the proverbial blood stream (proverbially).

It was a game of eternal catch-up, which was played by all in the Team Sports Glory Team camp. For every Kickbot action there was a less than equal TSGT re-action that was jaded & defeated before it began. Ultimately negativity reigned and we were defeated. MVP goes to Rabbit Child for his killer consistency and all ’round good sportiness. LVP goes to Ten Percenter for a herculean throw meant to get the ball from left field to the first baseman — only it was thrown from perhaps 2 feet away from the first-base line.

All said & done, it was clear that TSGT had neither what it took to win nor what it took to have fun. Clearly practice sessions will need to commence to find the spark of positive randomness and fan it into a towering inferno for future endeavors, lest we all freeze as embittered old spinsters.

Val Kilmer never knew what hit him. Team Sports Glory Team showed up on time and on fire and proceeded to go nutZ (with capital Z). Sure IMAS were down a person or two. But TSGT didn’t have any time for a full and proper pregame and thus were forced into a handicap of their own.

An astounding day for both TSGT Offense and Defense led to a whopping 18-2 landslide victory after plenty of innings playing kicky. MVP this week is shared by Rhoda Stallion and Dark Helmet — these two kids kicked with a 1.000 AVG this fine night, resulting in many chewy, carmelicious runs. Dark helmet kicked many balls, at least one of which was an HR. A third (self-promotional Honorable Mention) MVP is awarded to Sports Cap’n for kicking 0.750 and booting his first HR in years (a hard drive out to right-center). LVP was shared by Drunken Master and Panama Red for their brawling like bitches after some nut-thwapping gone wrong in Sports Cap’n’s Garage in the post-game wrapup. MSHAP (Most Super Hyper Amazing Player) goes this week to Aptimus Prime for his valiant ride against adversity and broken bike chains for a late-game display of sports fervor - a lesser kicker would have walked home or called a cab, but not this guy! 

Post-game Grilling resumed normality & became a gay-old time once Drunken Master put a quick closure to the fightstivities by leaving early and ending the cage match.

he season opener began with an incredible full-team press (literally) at the fantastic folks at Stroker Ace Printing. They managed to turn around the awesomeness of our brownest of the brown Sports Glory shirts in record time, beating their own minimum production calendar & finishing up with the last of the shirts just an hour before the game.

Arriving at Transformer Field #2 at 6pm for Operation: Portagrill MeatTube was a success, with sports team members and fans alike coming from miles around to witness the firey glory of portagrill as it seared & sizzled the mystery out of the meat tubes. 

Thanks in part to Operation: Portagrill MeatTube, Team Sports Glory Team had the intestinal fortitude to harness their combined powers and transform into one massive constructicon-esque multi-robot giant robot of feet robots which ground opposing team Red Rockets into submission. MVP was #12 - Twenty One, with his steel pistoned steam roller Home Run of doom in record time, allowing for perhaps 6 bases to be run had he wanted it. MWTFP was Aptimus Prime for his illusion of two Home Runs which was later determined to be one Home Run and one Out due to Missing of the 2nd Base thanks to the fact that our bases mysteriously transformed from non-regulation tee cones into cheapo non-regulation flexi-bases mid-game. I’ll show YOU feet on base! All your base are belong to suck!