“There’s always a winner and a loser, and both should enjoy the game.”
“Everybody loves a good sport”

the looming sky offered lures of freedom from kickball repetition oppression.  Working in the kickball mines, chipping away endlessly with pick and mattock, seeking the eternally elusive red diamond sphere.  rain pouring down on torn, beaten players.  would we instead watch tv on dr. rockplex?  Or punch Mr Mother Nature in the cumulonimbus sphincter with toes of fury?

Rain brought damp clamminess.  Sports Capn brought a secret baggy of raw turkey in his pocket the entire game yet received no ancient turkey spirit guide wisdom.  No mystic kindred totem for us this day except that of the cosmic 0-ness.  What is it to be utterly without positive or negative motivation?  To be in utter prysmic balance? No obligation to win or lose.  That is what it is to trancscend kickball to a plane in which runs occur despite outs.  solidarity occurs through belligerence.  And april showers bring may flowers.  In June.

After an exhaustive retrofit of Sports Cap’ns Portacabin™, Sports Cap’n quickly realize that Portagrill™ Mark 1 was not lost but in fact simply placed in storage for the duration of its winter hideaway at the State Fairgrounds.  

Its exceptional return was heralded by none but Sports Cap’n himself, a happy dance shortly thereafter ensued.

The arrival was on target.  Portagrill mark 2 has arrived, in all its multipieced glory, to replace that great propane meat-tube scalder in the sky, Portagrill.  The construction and related merriment was exeptionally well executed.  The menards lady clearly had recommended a Portagrill to be reckoned with.  A portagrill without propane.  A Portagrill of suck.  Portagrill Mark 2 was clearly an imposter infiltrating infidel which sought to undermine our unity from the meaty core.  Yet memory served that Portagrill may be redeeemed by the corner of 38th and Chicago via Cup Foods or its mighty Super American Brethren.  

Super America brought the grill in a bag to the game this time in under 10 minutes.  With it, the ability to burn sausages and make grilling interweave with playing and/or fielding.  Lo, the cheddarwurst did know what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day, I can tell you.

Spontaneous match light charcoals aside, portagrill 2 really sucked for what we wanted.  Where is portagrill mark 1?  Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope!

The plan is clear. This year we will establish a complete dominance over all things inverse win and/or blatantky incomprehensible drump. If we can destroy the league in Runs Against, we will destroy the validity of Runs For, thereby achieving a complete union of victory and defeat. Kick backwards yet forwards. Upwards not backwards, and ever twirling, twirling towards freedom. Team Sports Glory Team clearly knows what it takes to run the bases without fear of winning or losing!

NAGMA offered fair play and shiny jerseys to the fray in this no-holds-barred kickball match involving not one but two teams hellbent on foot-driven dominance.  While TSGT brought vigor, chutzpah, and pure smite-factor, they forgot to bring the cohesive sports net required to effectively quarantine in humanitarian fashion.  

Thus fingers were in but hands were not; the forest contained no trees.  The win was inverse.

I think we can squarely blame several things if we’re slinging any perceived room for improvement in last night’s 1-12 inverse victory.

1. Alex forgot to come.
2. You forgot Buttons!  We need Sun of Gary!  MVP 2000!
3. Jeremy & Mo were unavailable by cel phone to give us 12 points. (ps, we have your shirts!)
4. Subway sandwiches weren’t grilled adequately
5. TSGT shirts were so awesome that they inspired the other team to greatness
6. Sports Cap’n forgot his kicky shoes
7. Defense wins championships.  Inverse defense (the Sieveski Approach) wins inverse victories.
8. Bacon deficit (though familia Burns’ cow meat was mighty in girth)
9. Lack of shiny pants
10. Lack of manbunts